Stick to the feeling!

Hi! I've literally never blogged. Nice to meet you.

Since April 1st I've been in a group where we've been posting one song a day; I realized quickly that I've sure been doing a lot of thinking (read: anxiety spiraling) since I started self-isolating, but I've been resisting feeling anything about this crisis. At first what came out was a jumble of banjo notes that relied on old tropes that don't reflect the seismic everything shift we're going through. And worst of all it didn't feel honest.

Usually when I'm trying to write a song, I journal just to check into the radio frequency of my brain. Over the course of ten or so pages I circle a few things that feel very truthful and urgent, and make me feel my feet on the ground, and then I go from there. Even so, lately I've been writing such circular, anxious messes that I wasn't circling anything at all — I was just making lists of all the things that could go wrong, and all the friends I feel like I'm disappointing because it's been hard to stay in touch.

So for day 5 of song-a-day, I stepped back; I decided to just read out loud from my Sunday morning journal entry and pair it with some sounds I captured the day before. Bijan told me that you can't post audio on this site, so today I just filmed myself sitting at the window where I wrote it.

For today's dose of vulnerability, I bring you:
JOURNAL 4/5/20 or "Stick to the Feeling, Steph!"
An Audio Diary