things I have never had an interest in owning before, which I now must have, as a matter of urgency

- a huge, hideous bean bag, to sink into as a baby might sink into an adult-sized pillow
- a matching bean bag, upon which my dog can recline, like a king upon a fluffy throne
- a miniature zen garden, with a range of tiny rakes
- a handmade pinch pot for my beloved luxury salts
- a "loungewear set"
- matching rings (maybe featuring BIRDS???) with all my best friends????
- a nintendo??
- one of those spindly head massager things they sell at the airport
- a "toweling robe"
- a silken headwrap
- all of these expensive, delicate, potentially life-affirming(???) paper flowers
- a sourdough starter (ok fine you got me I admit I wanted this before) (if anyone is reading this in central London, and has a sourdough starter they want to share... hit me up)
- those little martini glasses that have like, tiny glass balls all over them? like textured martini glasses
- an alexa-enabled video device such as the echo show or the facebook portal :(
- roomba + monkey beanie baby, to tape to the top of the roomba
- a deep wooden bowl
- those pilates resistance bands
- knitting supplies (I do not know how to knit)
- decorative ice molds in shapes such as palm tree, beach ball, penguin, cactus
- now that I mention it, maybe also a tiny palm tree, a live one, to zhuzh up the apartment.... a little taste of the tropics.... aloha