Dear Indoor Voices Reader,
In these uncertain times, I wanted to reach out to you personally about what I am doing here at this Kottke-approved Quarantine Group Blog to support you and your browsing plans. As the situation around novel coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to evolve, I am doing everything I can to ensure your continued supply of quarantine takes.
Professional Formatting
I will convey the seriousness of this situation by eschewing frivolous gifs obtained illegally via Google Image Search and instead use our corporate logo (centred) above a professional white background. All text will remain black and unadorned of emojis.
Uninverted Pyramid
The gravity of my message cannot be adequately summarised through the post title or even a whole paragraph. Rather, I shall force you to read the entire thing by using the most anodyne title and intro possible. The fact that this is the most important post I will ever make in my life means nothing against this convention.
I Have Empathy
It's true: I've ignored all your comments and suggestions in the past and will continue to do so in the future. But let there be no doubt: you are the most important people to me. Your health and safety, and that of my ghostbloggers, are of paramount importance.
I Will Alone Save You
There are many people who make it possible for me to write these posts, but it is crucial for you to understand that I, Adrian Hon, Indoor Voices Blogger, am the author of this particular post and that your hopes and prayers must be directed at me alone.
Another Thing
Oh by the way if you're a medical worker I'll give you $500 off your next shop.
These are the immediate steps I am taking to ensure continued my continued service here, but this will not be the end.
I will continue to share updates on my social channels and personal website. And I want to thank you, my loyal readers, for your help and patience as we continue to navigate this unprecedented time.
Adrian Hon
Indoor Voices Blogger
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