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Sunday 15 March 2020

cancel your subscriptions

A few years ago I left the country for 5 months and refused to cancel my Movie Pass subscription, not because I expected to be watching a lot of movies in South America but because I’m a giant baby who hates making phone calls or sending emails. This is back when Movie Pass was like, $35 a month and I was making approximately $0 a month, so it was a stupid thing to do. I eventually canceled it when they raised the price to $45, but that was three months into my five-month trip, because I’m dumb. 

A few days ago I canceled my fancy workout class package because like, am I supposed to do hot yoga in a room full of people during a pandemic? Absolutely not! My back really hurts because I carried $170 worth of groceries for 10 blocks like a pack mule, and also because I’m carrying a lot of tension in my body or whatever because I’m so stressed out about giving people the virus or catching it myself, and it’d be really cool to go to yoga so my back would hurt in a good way instead. Too bad!

The same day I canceled my fancy workout subscription, I dropped off some clothing I was “renting,” which was a ridiculous concept even when the world was less bad than it is now. I am about to cancel that subscription too, because it’s not like I need to look nice during an indefinite period of social distancing. I’ve been wearing the same groutfit (grey sweatpants, grey Virginia Tech t-shirt I own for some reason even though I’ve never even been to Virginia) for like, 3 days straight. I will probably wear it tomorrow too, because who cares.

This isn’t some scoldy post about social distancing — but also please don’t go to bars!!!! — it’s just a PSA. You probably have a bunch of dumb subscriptions you can’t use anymore because none of us can leave the house. Cancel them! Spend that money on board games instead! (Probably don't get rid of your Hulu subscription though.) Thank you and goodnight.

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